Parts of the Fourth of July I Could Do Without
It’s the Fourth of July again, and we’ve got a lot going on in the USA right now. There’s a lot I could say about the news recently, but most of those words have a series of asterisks in them. So let’s focus on the the simple things. Here’s a few parts of our Independence Day that I could really do without:
Fireworks: Fireworks are dangerous, bad for the environment, and they drive dogs absolutely nuts. Setting off fireworks (usually illegal fireworks) every year makes today absolute hell for man’s best friends.
Hotdogs: It took some brilliant marketing to take one of the least appealing sausages ever and making it a holiday staple. Hotdogs just aren’t that great. And for a country as diverse as America, bland meat tubes are a lousy culinary symbol.
Being All About America (Except for Voting): There are grown adults who wave massive American flags every year, but don’t bother to get informed before elections or, you know… voting for the people who run it. Those people aren’t real fans of America; they just have three very specific favorite colors.
Bragging About How Great America Is (And Being Angry at People who Want to Live Here): Xenophobia may be an American tradition, but that doesn’t make it a good one. Plus, it’s not like anyone was born here due to their own brilliant planning and patriotism.
“Born in the USA” by Bruce Springsteen: LISTEN TO THE LYRICS. IT’S A PROTEST SONG.
Happy Fourth Day of July, all. America has a lot of good in it… but there’s certainly some things to leave behind, too.