“Adulting” Class Curriculum
I pitched my kids a hypothetical last week. They could create any class they wanted, provided it featured real learning (no Napping 101 or AP Doing Nothing), and add it to the school schedule.
There were a lot of practical answers: wider language options, a history class that wasn’t Eurocentric, and AP Fan-Fiction to name a few. But I was surprised to find how many students (especially seniors) were really into the idea of an “Adulting” class.
It got me thinking: I’m a darn fine teacher and a passable adult (if you grade on a curve), so why shouldn’t I outline a teaching curriculum for surviving as an adult? Here it is:
Unit One: Money
Week One: Brainstorm some of the costs of adulthood, outline a general budget.
Week Two: Revise budget in the face of our cruel, capitalist reality.
Week Three: Learn how you must accrue debt before banks and credit card companies will lend you money. Do not allow yourself to be driven to madness by the weight of this paradox.
Week Four: Learn to calculate restaurant tips in your head, file taxes, and how to comparison-shop without breaking down in choice panic.
Unit Two: Health
Week One: What’s insurance, and how do I get it?
Week Two: Scheduling doctor/dentist appointments.
Week Three: Research affordable exercises that you’ll still want to do after a 40 hour work week.
Week Four: How NOT to get sick (because you can’t afford it. See Unit One for details)
Unit Three: Home
Week One: How to find an apartment to rent (remember to have debt, but not too much. See Unit One).
Week Two: Roommate Etiquette.
Week Three: Compare and contrast the two types of cleaning (“cleaning just enough that your place is functional and won’t make you sick” vs. “someone is coming over whose opinion you value”).
Week Four: Setting a cleaning schedule you’ll actually stick to without being forced by an authority figure. (I’m going to need a guest-speaker on this one, because I’m still struggling)
Unit Four: Being Out of Touch
Week One: Mishear the lyrics to a popular song, and sing aloud in front of others.
Week Two: Research people younger than you are who have achieved more and are more talented. (Extra credit if you remember this is not a failing on your part, just an inevitable part of life.)
Week Three: Use a meme online that you only-kind-of-know why it exists. Read one hundred replies explaining why you have no idea what you’re talking about.
Week Four: Un-ironically use out-of-date slang in front of someone five years younger than you. Survive the trauma of their scorn.
Can’t wait to see you in class, but don’t forget to prepare for the most difficult final exam of all: sitting with the adults at a family holiday without being talked down to. Study up!