Fast and Furious Fill-in-the-Blanks!
With Fast and Furious 9 coming soon to a theater near you, you might be thinking: "What? No! Why? Why would they do this?! Another one! Haven't we suffered enough?!"
Vin Diesel, age 135, on the set of the latest film. With diet and exercise, we can expect another 9 Fasts and Furiouses in the next couple years.
That's right, the fast cars, casual misogyny, and inexplicable action franchise is back, baby! But if you're nervous about going to a theater (or pirating) or just can't inject enough Fast and Furious Nos into your heart's engine, have no fear: I've got a fill in the blank F&F film pitch ready just for you!*
Opening:
The crew is doing well in [Location]: ____________________. They gather around, drinking Coronas and eating [Mouth Foods]: __________________. Dom smiles, wearing a [Color]:_______________ muscle shirt.
Oh, no! [A person, group, or AI]:________________ has attacked the crew's beloved [Any noun!]:__________________. And in a shocking twist, this time, the [Person, group, or AI]:______________ is (CIRCLE ONE: Related to the crew, related to a former enemy, behind all the bad stuff that happened in the last few movies, but was never mentioned!]
The crew's REALLY going to have to drive their cars to solve this one. First, they will drive their cars in [location or situation that makes no sense for a car to be in]: ____________________. Then they will discuss how they are FAMILY in: [Different location]:_______________. Roman will complain about [Anything]: _______________. [Any character]:_______________ makes fun of Roman. Now we are at a street race! The camera focuses on the legs/butts of [A double-digit number]:__________ of women who do not drive or speak. Dom wins the race, but then [a dangerous thing]:____________ happens, and Dom [experiences lethal injury]:_______________.
Fortunately, he is still alive and safe, because [????]: _________________
Dom and the crew fight the bad guy, and win with their superior power of FAMILY. The bad guy is defeated by [a car doing something impossible]:___________________
The family reunites at [Nice location]:__________________. They smile and drink Coronas. No bad things will ever happen again. But they don't know [CIRCLE ONE: one of them is about to die, one of them was dead but actually isn't, another bad guy was behind this bad guy, too, how to act.]....
Roll credits! See you next time!
*This is legally distinct from Madlibs!