Inherently Ugly Words

It’s easy to romanticize the English language as beautiful, fluid creation, particularly if you’re a reader by nature. Certainly there are beautiful words in the language: susurrus, petrichor, likewise, and zephyr to name a few. Many writers have remarked that the two most beautiful words in the English language are “cellar door.” I’m unconvinced on that score, but I can hear a certain rhythm in them.

But English is also full of ugly, snide little words that are ever so slightly (yet unforgivably) wrong.

Gradient: What’s frustrating about this word is that it’s so close to sounding pleasant. “Radiant,” after all, sounds like what it means: shining, smooth, easy to notice. Adding that simple “G” sound makes the new word suddenly aggressive and nasally at the same time. Almost any other consonant sound would be better. Get it together, Gradient.

Spew: Ugly word for an ugly action, and somehow sounds infinitely worse than “sue” and “pew.”

Cyst: It’s possible that the actual meaning of the word has hardened us against “cyst,” but as a single syllable it’s hard to get grosser sounding than this word is. Think about “assist,” a perfectly acceptable word. “A” by itself is an unimpeachable article. But “cyst,” flying solo and with that almost alien spelling is just plain wrong. Get rid of it.

Granary: Much like “Gradient” this word starts with a high, nasally start, but then drops in to an ugly grunt with an “ur” sound. There’s not even a negative connotation to this word, but it just doesn’t add up.

Pulp: Ew.

Cacophony: This is a rare, four-syllable onomatopoeia. Cacophony means “an unpleasant sound” and boy howdy is it. The opening syllables sound like crows barking at you, or a contagious double cough. Compared to its genteel sister, Symphony, this word has the dubious honor of describing itself perfectly.