Pitch, Please Number Six
Welcome back to Pitch, Please, where I pitch sure-to-be film successes inventing movie premises based on prompts that I write with a little help from my old friend, the internet. Last time’s prompt was:
Just when you thought it was safe to go back to your childhood… Your favorite game/toy returned! The QuestGuild reboot will be the grittiest thrill ride of the summer. Nothing is off limits (apparently). The Elitist has a dark secret and a whole lot to lose, The Visionary’s hidden addiction is about to come to light, and the whole galaxy will never be the same.
And I’m not going to lie to you, that one was a challenge, because preliminary research indicates that that game DOES NOT EXIST. But while a half-empty writer could look at that prompt and scratch their head, this writer is at least half-full of something or other, and realizes that I now have almost free reign to create a game and film adaptation. Step into my head (ignore the screams).
Now “QuestGuild” sounds RPG as hell, and at first glance I imagined this would be kind of a World of Warcraft style fantasy knock-off. But that last word, Galaxy, just made things WAY more interesting, because that means we’re dealing with a magic/fantasy system across planets and/or solar systems, which I think is a breath of fresh air for the genre. Anyone can rip off Tolkien, but wizards riding starships to the nearest inhabited world for potion ingredients? That sounds sick.
Let’s get to the only characters we know exist: “The Elitist” who has a dark secret and a lot to lose, and “The Visionary” who has a hidden addiction. Now, “The Elitist” has to be a person with some level authority (and MAGIC) who looks down on others, so what better or more natural secret is there than that they’re actually from humble origins? Maybe they got where they were by wiping out magicians like them, then hid that history to enjoy a rise to power. And “the Visionary,” our only other character, has to be a force for change in clear opposition to “the Elitist.” Maybe they’re the new face of Magic in this galaxy, whose secret addiction is, of course, adventure. They’re working with a small guild to quest across the universe, only they’ve finally bit off more than they can chew and come to the attention of “the Elitist.” Their conflict will be the stuff of legends, heroes will rise, regimes will crumble, “The Elitist’s” secret will come to light and the galaxy WILL never be the same—
Oh. Oh, you know what I did?
I made it Star Wars. Yeah, looking back, I’m totally ripping off Star Wars here.
Eh, you could do worse than to just rip off Star Wars, I reckon.
In theaters, 2023.
…
Want to be a part of movie history? Feel free to help me fill in the blanks on this next prompt in the comments or on Twitter @SharpeWrites with the hashtag, #pitchplease.
Next time’s prompt is:
When the Baker family moved to a sleepy little town in the Northeast, they thought they were moving into their dream home… until they discovered ____________________. Now they are trapped in a nightmare they can’t escape: the phones are dead, help is nowhere to be found, and _________________ is everywhere. If they want to stop the terror, there’s only one person they can turn to for help: ________________