Redesigning Graduation
It's nearly graduation time for highschoolers all over the country. It's a nostalgic time, and especially given the fact that my *indistinct grumbling* high school anniversary is coming up, I couldn't help but think... we really need to change this whole graduation scam.
Who wouldn’t want to dress like a night stand on their special day?
I mean, some cursory searching online says that the graduation cap and robe might date back to the 12th century, but is that a good reason to shove hundreds of teenagers into polyester sacks during the hottest months of the year? And yes, I'll admit I also have a dog in this fight. I, too, have to wear graduation "regalia" (regalia means the things associated with royalty, but I'm not sure how a body bag with a head hole qualifies) each year. It seems like a big scam to prop up the cap and gown industry by forcing kids to buy something with zero practical value (beyond pretending you're at Hogwarts, but come on, buy a black blanket).
And then there's the ceremony. I went to and now teach at a big school. My graduating class was 660 or so kids. I've seen bigger graduating classes as a teacher. And while the speeches at said graduations are always about finding your own path and doing things your own way, the actual graduation goes more along the lines of: wear what we tell you, sit where we tell you, do EXACTLY what we tell you, or you can't walk across the stage for eight seconds. The disconnect is pretty astonishing.
So, let's turn it on its head. Today I propose a new graduation system. Instead of rows upon rows of graduates sitting down, rising, and line-leading like kindergartners, imagine this:
Graduates and their family arrive at school. Graduates show a badge or a pin and receive a fancy diploma holder at the door, but the diploma is mailed to them in a few weeks (makes the process swift and painless.) In this system, caps and gowns are NOT required, but anybody who feels like kicking it old school is welcome to purchase and wear one. Since we're not trying to herd all the graduates together like cattle for pictures, we can afford them a little freedom of dress.
Graduates and families meet in the auditorium/gym/football field or wherever for one brief (ten minutes tops!) address from the principal and speech by a student body president/valedictorian/student voted to perform a speech by the graduating class. I like the last option best, because it takes the pressure of achieving the top spot or election away and ends with the class choosing who they want to speak for them. Applause for the student body. No impossibly long list of names or students walking across a stage for 45 minutes straight. As an added benefit, parents don't have to deal with that rule of not applauding when your own kid walks across a stage. they can applaud them all up and down the halls if you want. Go wild (as long as you remember it's your kids' day, not yours.)
Graduates and their family move around the campus as they like and choose where THEY want to go for their family graduation pictures. After the speech, teachers go to their room (or coaches to their court/field), so students have time to get a last look at the things they most valued about high school. Loved basketball? Go celebrate on the basketball court. Were the best moments of high school in the cafeteria? Text your friends, go meet at your old lunch table, and snap some pictures. Have a favorite teacher, one perhaps who always gave you fun murder stories in English? Go visit his classroom, shake his hand, and spend a few minutes reminiscing. Students and families have an hour to go wherever they want. And as a bonus, students who are just ready to leave can. No forcing nostalgia on people who don't want it. You were here, you had your moment, you're free to go.
At the end of the hour, the lights flash, music plays over the PA, maybe even the class song, if you're into that kind of thing. We signal our graduates it's time to get going. They wave their heartfelt farewells. The teachers let the parking lot clear out while they reflect fondly on the graduating class. If this were a movie, there would be a "where are they now" montage explaining what the future had in store for these bright-eyed young people.
Done. It's simple, it's better dressed, and it offers students more of a choice to celebrate their high school experience their way. Also, I don't have to wear a trash bag with weird sleeves for several hours. It's a win-win, and I will be accepting my award for Educational Innovation at any time, particularly if they come with cash prizes.