Spider-Man: No More Spoilers

Oh, my god, have you seen it yet?!

No.

I can’t believe they brought back—!!!

Stop!

And I can’t believe they couldn’t bring back—

I don’t want to know, I haven’t seen it yet!

They did THAT scene!!!

Stop, there are only a few “that scenes” in Spider-Man that everyone knows about, I don’t want to think about it until I get to the theater.

Okay, fine, but let me link you some videos for when you HAVE seen it. Ignore the blatant spoilers in the thumbnail, just watch through “Spider-Man No Way Home ENDING EXPLAINED,” “Spider-Man NWH Craziest Easter Eggs!” and “The Problem with Spider-Man No Way Home and Quantum Immortality Theory!/Return of [REDACTED BUT NOT REALLY BECAUSE I PUT HIS PICTURE IN THE THUMBNAIL!]”

…Look, true-believers. COVID numbers are, predictably, up. The holidays are breathing down our necks (not even masked, terribly inconsiderate), and travel, family time, and general life stuff are going to impair people’s (see: MY) ability to make it to a theater. Please stop plastering the internet with your spoiler-y hot-takes like Spider-Man swinging through Time Square. With great access to the internet and the cool movie lots of people want to see comes great responsibility.

I will not be looking at the comments on this one for two weeks. Merry Happy.