Babysitter Wanted for Unique Child

Thank you for sitting down for this interview. I am a working, traveling father who requires a protector… um…babysitter for my… child, Grogu.

My travels take me far away, often at a moment’s notice. As for Grogu, where he goes, I go… You will also need to be there, preferably with snacks.

There are powerful people looking for us. This should not concern you, however, as I have mastered ancient and varied forms of warfare. That said, I don’t see any combat experience on your resume. That could be a problem. Yes, I see your first aid training, but we don’t actually need that.

You may also need to drive, but I will reimburse you for fuel. Can you drive a 35 year old twin-engine? Don’t mind the fact that it’s unregistered that’s… that’s a long story.

Look, getting down to it, Grogu is a gifted child. I am trying to find someone who can really work with him, and help his abilities to move objects with his mind. Our last try for that… didn’t work out as I hoped. Also he enjoys coloring.

Grogu is fine with… many pets. You don’t have a lizard, do you? Or any small amphibians? Okay. That’s good. He’s… allergic. Just keep him away from frogs.

Oh, you haven’t seen him yet? Yes, I think I have a picture here. Yes, he is cute. How old? Around fifty. No, I’m not joking.

I can pay upfront and you’re welcome to anything in the carbonite freezer, but know this: you will never see my face. This is the way. Oh. Wait. You want to leave? Okay. This is the way out. Keep me in mind if anything changes.

Next?