Headlines from the American Southeast

I envy people from Washington, California, and New York. When their states are in the headlines, there’s a decent chance that it’s something to be proud of. You know a “COOL STATE leads the nation in…” kind of story.

Everybody in the south knows to preemptively cringe when they see their state in national news. I mean, Georgia’s had some luck the past couple years, but you’re never going to see a headline like, “Florida Suddenly a Really Chill Place to Live” or “Texans Are All Kind to Each Other, Everyone Applauds.”

I don’t think I have ever seen a positive national headline about the state of Alabama that didn’t involve a championship in sports. Ever. Not once. Louisiana and Missouri, maybe a handful of times. Unless you’re really into sports (and let’s face it, mostly college sports) the entire American Southeast is like a news coverage wasteland.

We do have some cool stuff happening, too. Honest! Our universities are more than athlete/athletic scandal factories; sometimes they make great scientific discoveries! My alma mater has two Nobel laureates. Charities and nonprofit organizations do great work every day in every state. And our food? It’s delicious and it’ll make you sleepier than most over-the-counter sedatives.

Sure wish I saw some of that in the news every now and then. Even if I did, though, the surprise may lead to a headline like, “Man Sees Good News Online, Hospitalized for Shock”.