John Green Thinks He’s So Cool

Look, I’m not afraid to tell it like it is. Remember that time I made fun of a Star Wars movie? I’m dropping truth like bombs over here. And I’m not afraid to come out there and say it: John Green thinks he’s hot sh*t.

And why?

Okay, so he has a highly successful vlog series that he started forever ago and built up a base of fans who really appreciate his outlook and the general advice on life.

And he’s probably pretty pleased with his fan club of nerdfighters, who are NOT what they sound like, and may have led me into a very awkward conversation back in college.

I’ll bet he thinks it’s really neat that he and his brother set up Crash Course as an educational video series on Youtube covering a variety of subjects so anybody could learn from people they liked and respected in a “fun, engaging” way.

And you know he’s smug about his charitable work in Project for Awesome, a name that probably only took like fifteen minutes to come up with before it started raising money for good causes.

And yeah, he’s an award-winning author of like half a dozen beloved YA novels, some of which have been made into popular movies or a TV series on Hulu.

And now he’s got a non-fiction book, The Anthropocene Reviewed, coming out in May?! As if getting his fingerprints all over a generation of fiction wasn’t enough, he’s coming for nonfiction, too?

The worst part of it all is I bet he really gets a kick out of teaching young people that the world and all the people in it are complex and worthy of serious contemplation, and that their feelings are valid and worth talking about, because maybe that sharing could make someone else feel a little better.

But I especially hate how cool he plays all that off, like “no, I’m just a regular dude with a webcam, or whatever, I haven’t let success change ME.”

Whatever. I see through your games, John Green. Go write another award-winning book.