The Subtle Art of the Crowd-Pleasing Movie

You’re with a big group of people. A Movie Night is suggested. Chaos descends.

Movie Night calculus is among the most complex mathematics known to our society. It’s a quantum dance of tastes, attention spans, knowns, unknowns, and popcorn refills.

I’m no expert in this field, but I’m doing some independent research into the subject. I’ve found the following components crucial to my (admittedly limited) successes.

• Action: There is a time and place for thoughtful dramas, and I assure you it is not around your friends, family, or pets. To win a crowd, you need action. That action requires stakes and momentum, but not necessarily violence. When in doubt, a daring escape is more universally beloved than a battle scene.

• Comedy: I know, comedy is subjective. The finest comedies ever made have been panned by people who just didn’t get it. That said, if you’re with a group of people, you want to laugh. Pick a movie that has at least one consistently funny character who is on-screen for most of the film.

• Visual-Appeal: There’s a reason that James Bond never goes to Oklahoma. Movies are more fun when you actually want to look at the screen. You want a beautiful setting, clever direction, visual gags, or some combination of all three to really keep people’s eyes off their phones and on the screen.

So, what does that combination leave us with? You’re looking for movies like The Hunt for the Wilderpeople, The Adventures of Tintin, and The Grand Budapest Hotel. Each has stakes without getting particularly gory, great comedic characters, and enough going on visually to maintain the attention.

My research continues, because now I’ve shown those three movies to virtually everyone I know. And with a small grant of $10,000 dollars, I can conduct this research while also having $10,000 dollars. Thank you for your time.