These Anime Titles Are Too Damn Long

I don’t know when anime titles started to go absolutely insane, but I have not enjoyed the gimmick, and not only do I think it’s time for a new era, I think we should go back and erase some of those really long titles.

Not the anime themselves, though! And so, I set myself a challenge: replace some of these dumb, long titles with cooler ones. As a fun twist, I would never start an anime that’s lost my interest before I even start, so I’m relying on the smallest snippets of information to make these titles work. Here we go.

• Title: Do You Love Your Mom and Her Two-Hit Multi-Target Attacks - Apparently one of the million “main character is from our world then gets transported into video game worlds” shows, but this time the character’s mom is also there.

  • New Title: Play/Slay Together - A bit of a take on “the family that prays together stays together,” but, you know, cool.

• Title: Banished From the Hero’s Party, I Decided to Live a Quiet Life in the Countryside - This one seems entirely self explanatory once you realize it’s set in a fantasy world.

  • New Title: Swords to Plowshares - A well-known military to civilian life concept that you could actually fit on a title card.

• Title: Waiting in the Summer: In Our Last Summer of High School, We Await That Summer - I refuse to even look up the summary on something with a title this terrible.

  • New Title: Midsummer Dreams - Ripping off Shakespeare never goes out of style.

• Title: The Ultimate Next-gen Full Dive RPG is Even Shittier than Real Life! - Guy plays a VR game that can hurt him, but he wants to beat it. I think I might be cheating, because I’ve also seen this one just called “Full Dive,” but I also believe I can do better.

  • New Title: NeVR Give Up - I mean, if you’re not going to play on VR, what are you even doing here?