On Going Too Far

The date has a second digit in it, which signifies that spoooOoooOoooky season is upon us. I don’t know if I just lived in a neighborhood full of complete and utter squares, but decorating for Halloween, like ALL MONTH before Halloween, wasn’t something I really saw when I was a kid. Now it’s everywhere.

I don’t mean to rain on anyone’s Black Parade: if you want to spook up your homes a bit, don’t let me stop you. But here are some decorations I’ve seen that are maybe a bit much for a neighborhood setting:

• Motion-Activated Jump-Scare Decorations: Hey, you know who dislikes suddenly being lunged at? Most people. And do you know who absolutely hates it? My dogs. Please stop.

• Twelve-Foot Tall Skeletons: I don’t actually hate this decoration, but that’s a LOT of real estate for your non-Halloween season storage.

• A Creepy, Life-Sized Doll on a Swing: I sure stopped walking by that house before sunrise.

• Blow-Up Decorations Left on 24/7: Get a timer. Halloween happens after sundown.

• A Fake Bodybag Hanging From a Second-Story Window: Yeah, seriously. What the hell? I’m not impressed with your creativity. I’m going to stop walking by your house until I see a SOLD sign.