If Dr. Seuss Were Still Alive and Writing Children’s Books

This Heat is Too Hot!

All spring I could sit in my nice sunny spot,

If it weren’t rainy and dreary and awfully wet

But I can’t take it any more, this heat is too hot!

It’s 8 in the morning and I’m covered in sweat!

“How did it get like this?” I asked the Al Gorax.

“It’s simple,” he said, with a voice deep and wise.

“The Business Barons’ pollution has been more, more, more, MAX!

Now our carbon footprints are monstrous in size!”

Horton Wears a Mask

Horton the elephant had himself quite a task,

The germs were all out and he needed a mask,

But where can he find a mask that could fit his big trunk,

So the Who’s of Whoville don’t think he’s an anti-mask punk?

The Troll’s on a Roll!

Every day on the web, the troll grins his grin.

He loves his job; he just can’t wait to begin.

When he finds any news or an opinion at hand,

He starts to spew hatred to get himself banned!

Like, “I’m ashamed of this country, it’s hit quite a snag!

Minorities are dangerous, Sandy Hook’s a False Flag!”

And when he sees the overdue ban,

He smiles some more; it’s part of the plan!

“Get in the comments!” he tells the other trolls with a cheer.

“Democracy’s over, the Nazis are here!”

I can only hope that the troll ends up on a deserted island with no Wi-Fi on this one, but I suppose now the world will never know.