Naming of the Beasts

I’ve read and watched all kinds of horror in my time, but there’s one surprisingly simple thing that strikes dread into everyone I know:

The full name.

With painfully few exceptions, being called by your full name is about to ruin your day. And thinking about that and the general Halloween season got me thinking… what would monsters’ full names sound like? Here are my findings:

Vampire -> Vamp-Irene Bloodington

Phantom -> Pham-Thomas D. Opera

Chimera -> Chi-Meradith Scalefurred

Pegasus -> Pega-Susan Jane Whitehoof

Cthulhu -> Cthu-Louis Stevens

Dragon -> Dra-Gunther B. Treasurehoard

Zombie -> Zom-Beatrice Deadwood

Please use these powerful and definitely real names responsibly.